swaggurd:

yes, i’m double jointed

*smokes two joints at once*

tupacabra:

introductory paragraph of my essay:

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snorlaxatives:

it’s 2014 and there’s still guys tryna rock the 2009 justin bieber hairstyle please love yourself

madblackgirl:

team 5’5 and under where ya at

circumcisions:

we should all be thankful that centipedes can’t fly

autotuned:

am I in my mid-to-late 60s because I am reTIRED OF YOUR SHIT

snorlaxatives:

how do i tell someone i don’t care without sounding like i don’t care

neyruto:

i had the most surreal experience of my life at the mall i was standing by one of those god forsaken meme t-shirt stands and a sweaty pre-teen boy pointed to a shirt and yelled “gandam style” and started to half-heartedly do the dance without taking his eyes off of the shirt. his face was so red. he was tired.

cloppinq:

water is fucked up because you need it to live and then it drowns you just because it can

bakingcheesebuns:

when u go to pee and unexpectedly start your period 

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